I'm not exactly sure where I saw this quote or who said it, but it is a quote that has stuck with me for a while now. Sometimes, we don't actually realize how much someone affects our lives until they are no longer apart of it, and it is until that moment that we take complete advantage of their presence.
Having a special someone in your life is like a security blanket. You know that if you call them, they will be there. You know that if you are having a bad day and you just need them there for a nice snuggle, they will be there. You know that when you look down at your phone, you will see their name on your screen, instantly spreading a smile across your face.
Then, something changes.
Something changes in them and you don't know what it is, don't know what you could have done differently so that this scenario didn't exist.
When I found - and then lost - my first love, I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I WOULD someday love again. I was completely convinced that I would never love again, that that was it for me. But how are you supposed to know what love is at 16? or 20? How are you supposed to know if it really is the real deal? My dad is 45 and has been with my mom, then tried out other relationships in his life but I have never seen him so happy and in love as he is with his current wife.
He found it, but at 45.
There are billions of people in the world, and people always say that there is more than one person out there for you.
Yes, the breakup is heartbreaking, but the real heartache is having someone who was such an important figure in your life no longer filling that spot. Eventually the heartbreak will fade, and I will move on and maybe sometimes something will trigger a memory.. and when those memories come back, I smile.
I do not regret a single moment of it.
If he didn't exist, I wouldn't have laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. I wouldn't have learned that sometimes, you have to put someone else's feelings before yours - and other times, you have to put your feelings first. I wouldn't have learned that you can't make someone love you the way that you love them. The things I learned from my first relationship will only better me for my next one, and for that I am so grateful that I got to experience a love so beautiful, a love that made me so happy, a love that taught me so much about myself and what I need, even if it only lasted for a few years.
Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you are meant to be together.
I never realized this. I thought that if you loved someone, you were supposed to end up together in a nice house with a little white picket fence and all would be rainbows and butterflies. This, is not the case. You can have deep feelings for someone, but that doesn't meant that they are the right person for you to be the best you can be. All it takes is one person to bring you down so low emotionally that it just becomes unhealthy. I started letting him make me so sad, make me feel like my feelings didn't matter, and make me feel like I wasn't special. I let this happen because I so badly wanted to heal my failing relationship.
A lot of women are so in denial when a man mistreats them that they start to think that the way they are being treated is right, just because they think they are "in love".
I believe that once one person even has a thought about breaking up with the other person, its done. If you are in love and want to be with the other person, you would never think about not being with them. You would never wonder what it is like to be with someone else, because they should be all you want to be with.
Maybe this is contradicting.... but I believe that if you are young this is completely different, but maybe I'm just being biased. When you are like 16 or something, you are young, you don't know what you want, maybe you don't even know what love is (but you think you do). You make mistakes. I made about a thousand mistakes with love when I was that age. I broke up with him over and over again because I was scared, I didn't know what I wanted - but as I aged things changed, I knew what I wanted as I matured... but as he aged, what he wanted wasn't me anymore. And after a while, I have realized that is okay. It is okay because why would I want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about me? That is a waste of time.
I know now that I will find someone who will be there for me no matter what, who will love me no matter what and laugh at my jokes... no matter what. I will find someone who doesn't bring me down, but lifts me up. I will find some one who looks at me like I am everything they have ever wanted. Someone who continues to fall for me each day. Like Michael Buble sings, "I just haven't met you yet". (wow that was super lame)
Don't get me wrong - some times I still need to remind myself of everything in that last paragraph. But that happens. Everyone gets lonely from time to time, you just need to remember , as my dad tells me, "the person you are going to be with, the person who is going to love you and treat you right is out there. He could be watching TV right now, or playing hockey, or cooking dinner. But he is out there, it just isn't your time to find him yet". (SIDE NOTE: always listen to your father's opinion, he is usually right and always has some good advice if you open up to him... I know my dad does)
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that every relationship is a learning experience. Even though someone can be in and out of your life faster than you wanted, what they teach you in that time is invaluable.
And that, is something I just needed to get off my chest.
